Obama Perks

An alert listener sent this list, Top 10 perks of the UPCOMING Obama presidency to Jerry Agar last week, and the two of us had a blast coming up with our own. Here goes:

• After a time people figure out that the president DOESN"T solve all their problems and some of them actually work to fill their own gas tanks and pay their own mortgage.
  
  
• Jerimiah Wright can come out of retirement. Michelle can take off the duct tape and wear lipstick again.
  
  
• We now know that an empty suit can get up and walk and talk.
  
  
• No more whining about how the election was stolen. (Notice how all the machines were accurate this time? Apparently Diebold is no longer capable of rigging elections.)
  
  
• Children inspired to learn that they can grow up to win the highest office in the world without any actual accomplishments.
  
  
• Comedian Bias: An end to all the "Why can't we get a Brother in the White House Jokes. Oh look, he DIDN'T put spinners on Air Force One. Aunt Zetuni and Brother George are going back to the Glory days of Democrat families, like Billy Carter and Roger Clinton. Lots of fun stuff rhymes with Obama.
  
  
• America made even safer for unapologetic domestic terrorists.
  
  
• No more wood splitting, brush clearing or golfing. Joggiing track replaced with a basketball court.
  
  
• World finally learns that socialism fails no matter who runs it.
  
  
• Even I can afford to invest in the stock market now.
  

Incidentally, there will still be a Kidders show this Thursday, November 13th, at Zanies in the Pheasant Run Resort (sans Jerry & Maura). 8PM Tickets still just $8.90. 630-584-6342

I Quit

I'm on the wrong side.

After one year with Jerry's Kidders, we were on the top of the the ratings. No show on AM was doing better than Jerry Agar. The other kidders and I were in negotiations with Hyundai to perform at the Chicago Auto Show, and we were excitedly planning our first year anniversary event.

At which point, the station decided to switch hosts. The nine to eleven weekday slot that Jerry owned for the past couple years was given to a different host, one that had been trying to squeeze into the WLS lineup for a number of years. Consequently, Jerry's Kidders were shown the door as well.

Starting Monday Morning, October 27th the 9-11 slot on 890 WLS will be replaced by Erich "Mancow" Muller. It was a great run, and I thank all of you who were in the audience. I also want to thank Jerry, Maura, Dobie, and Ken; for making my year as a radio star a delightful experience I shan't soon forget.

For those of you who are into Nostalgia, podcasts of most 2008 shows are still available for download off the WLS bandwith, although I fully expect them to be deleted soon.

Meanwhile up in Minnesota, failed talk show host Al Franken looks like he is about to win the Senate. So that's where we are. A failed Talk Show host on the left gets elected to the Senate, while a successful right leaning host gets the door.

I think I'm switching sides. I thought that inalienable rights and individual responsibility were noble goals, but it looks as though I was wrong. I'm tired of being shown the door. I want to be on the money making side.

Global Warming is a real crisis, the rich don't pay enough taxes, and America needs a Universal Health plan. That wasn't so bad.

Pardon me while I go wash out my mouth.

Did I Get Ripped Off Here? Part 2

Last Halloween, I found this political cartoon which seemed vaguely reminiscent of my very famous Halloween Tax bit. But circulating this year, is an OLDER cartoon that seems even more like a rip off.





For those of you who might be a little memory deficient, here is the tax bit in question:



Incidentally a lot of people were bugging me about how that contest ended up. Well, I finished in the top twenty, but according to the website, I came in THIRD! I just didn't pass muster with the Judges, who awarded the big prize, to the fourth place contestant. If they run another contest this year, I intend to give it another try.

Stay tuned!

September 11 Conspiracies

I've heard that when a family that suffers a great loss at Christmas time, that the joy of the season is lost on them forever. When the decorations and lights start appearing in stores, they feel a sense of impending dread in the pit of their stomaches. I feel much the same way about these early days of fall, when the crystal blue skies, and cool dewey grass, reminds me of that picture perfect September morning in New York, seven years ago today.

Full post on the WLS-AM website

Roasting Obama

Here's a great video news story, from the segment on the Barack Obama Show we did on WLS.

Barack-No-Phobia: The Podcast

Were you listening? It was one of the funniest radio shows of this political season, and if you weren't tuning in, you haven't missed the boat.

Myself and three other comics spent an hour trading Barack Obama jokes, on WLS 890 AM. It was a grand success. Reviews have been great, and I think it contained some of the funniest Obama jokes to date. Did you miss it? It's not too late, Thanks to the miracle of the Internet, you can now download FREE podcasts of the show:

Part One


Part Two

I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed performing; and I wish you all a very exciting and victorious Presidential Election.

Barack-No-Phobia

After eight long years of listening to "George Bush Is So Stupid" jokes, I think it's time for change; not just in the White House but in the Comedy House as well. According to a recent article in the New York Times, there is nothing funny about Barack Obama. Apparently all the late night, and comedy news show hosts are lax to make jokes about the Democrat nominee for President. Well that doesn't sit too well with me.

So myself and three other comics have decided to buck the trend, and spend an hour trading Barack Obama jokes, on WLS 890 AM. We're calling it Barack-No-Phobia: No Kidding Aside. We expect to ruffle a feather or two with this one

In fact it already is getting noticed. Robert Feder of the Chicago Sun-Times gave us a mention. As did NTS Aircheck.

WMAQ NBC5 Chicago has already decided to cover the story, and they're bringing in the cameras into the studio.


The action starts on Monday Morning at 10 AM Central. And if you're not in the listening area, you can Listen Live on the Internet.

Shrinky Dinks

Well it just stands to reason. If you smoke too much pot, you'll probably be high all the time, and act stupid.

But it turns out that new study indicates there might be physical evidence of actual brain shrinking. Over at Jerry Agar's Blog I weigh the evidence.

Fat Chance

So NOW what's threatening the planet?

I don't think you're going to believe THIS one. Over on Jerry Agar's Blog

An Insincere Challenge

I ran across this video clip recently. The author claims that he has a argument that "even the most hardened skeptic and the most panicked activist both can agree on."

He also said the he's putting it out there, to check if his" reasoning is dellusional. Because frankly, no one [he's] shown it to so far, has been able to poke a hole in it."

But there's nothing I adore more than a challenge






Really? If it is so airtight, then why are the comments over at YouTube closed? Why is it impossible to post a video response to his argument? Apparently, like Al Gore, the Debate is Over before it even started. It is really easy to win a debate when you shut out the opposition

Here's a couple holes I found: First, he's exaggerating trmendously. I think he said it best himself, when describing a post-climate-changed world, he said "This is a world straight out of Science Fiction."

I couldn't agree more. Because the scenario he mentioned IS fiction. As a mater of fact it seemed to resemble some science fiction thrillers like the Day after Tomorrow , and An Inconvenient Truth , much more than actual science. He not only said that Global warming would cause more storms, he invoked Katrina. The truth is, no reputable Scientist is claiming that Global Warming will cause storms.

According to Kevin Trenberth, a lead author for the IPCC:

Despite this enhanced activity, there is no sound theoretical basis for drawing any conclusions about how anthropogenic climate change affects hurricane numbers or tracks, and thus how many hit land.

In fairness Kevin did say that there is a possible link to Hurricane Intensity and Global Warming. This is because his paper was published in 2005, right after Kerry Emanuel, published a paper finding a link. But that was three years ago.

Today Dr. Emanuel realizes he was completely wrong:

The hurricane expert, Kerry Emanuel ... suggests that, even in a dramatically warming world, hurricane frequency and intensity may not substantially rise during the next two centuries.

Finally, from the latest report of the IPCC:

There is insufficient evidence to determine whether trends exist in the meridional overturning circulation (MOC) of the global ocean or in small-scale phenomena such as tornadoes, hail, lightning and dust-storms.

So it seems that we don't have to worry about SUVs starting storms.

But my biggest concern, is that if we take action to curb Co2 emissions, it causes a worldwide Depression. He brings this up and suggests that the trade off would be worth the risk. But what if the actions we take, have no effect on CO2. In that case we're stuck with a warmer world AND a Depression.

There is no evidence, scientific or historic, that treaties, taxes, or carbon caps have any effect on the amount of CO2 in the atmosphere. Look at what's happening to Food Prices right now, because we tried to substitute Ethanol for Petroleum. There are actually food riots going on worldwide, and there has been no measurable reduction of atmospheric CO2.

Finally he claims that the only downside of an Economic Depression is the actual Depression, whereas Global Warming will cause Political Breakdown, Social Upheaval, Wars, Environmental Destruction, and Health Consequences. But all those things usually happen during a Depression as well.

The last Depression caused every one of those things to occur. So here's the real choice: Do we want a World Wide Depressoion for no reason, or do we want to have a good economy, in case we will need to fund relief efforts from a Global Warming catastrophe.

I think THAT answer is obvious.

More Hype

So what's the latest threat to humanity that Scientists are linking to Global Warming? Over on Jerry Agar's Blog I take a big chomp out of the latest ridiculous claim.

"Apparently, referring to Global Warming is the scientific equivalent of getting out of a limousine with a skirt and no underwear."

Panic Sale

Rationing rice? Is there a crisis? Not since World War II, has anything of the sort been seen in this Nation.

Over at Jerry Agar's blog my latest entry explores the recent trend, of Americna Retail Outlets rationing rice purchases.

Are They Buzzed?

A recent article suggests that close to 60% of all scientists take non-medical drugs during work. Perhaps that's why it seems that everything coming out of the labs these days is dark and ominous. My latest post over at the WLS blog investigates the latest Apocalyptic prediction from our friends in the scientific community.

Guns

As we approach a couple of dark anniversaries in American History the most unlikely candidate has come out in favor of sportsmen's rights.

Check out my Latest Post Over on the WLS blog.

Unexpected Heath Risks

Well who would have thought, that Smoking bans kill more people than Second Hand Smoke. But a recent study from the University of Wisconsin, indicates that it could be very likely.

I put another post over at Jerry Agar's Blog on the WLS website. Sometimes it's better to leave well enough alone.

New Health Hazard

Those who have been following my intermittent threads, know that Second Hand Smoke Legislation is one of my major peeves. The risk from exposure is so minor that only the most paranoid should concern themselves.

In previous posts, I mentioned that the health risk from working in a smoky bar is less than the health risk from, a couple bags of microwave pop corn, or a can of pop every day.

In an Editorial for Jerry Agar's Blog over on the WLS website, I explore a new threat that needs to be banned from all workplaces:

Cell phones!

Vote for Me!

Update: April 1, 2008: The contest is now over and I made it as far as the finals, thanks to all your persistant voting. I won a nifty camcorder, that really belongs to all of you, along with my parents my distributor, my manager, god, and my country.

The final round was decided by a panel of judges, who did not think my video was funny enough to rank in the top three. I respectfully disagree, however there is no appeals process. (If you're curious, you can still follow the link, and check out the actual winners )

Thank you all for your support!


I've entered a contest for the funniest tax routine, and you can help me win. Please vote for this as the funniest tax routine EVER.




All you need to do:

1) go to:

http://www.youtube.com/turbotax

2) Click on the "vote" tab (under Jay's left shoulder)

3) search for "Slagle" (the search bar is located under the video player)

4) Click on the TimSlagle video

5) When the video starts playing click the Up Thumb

6) Repeat daily This is a Chicago Style Stuffed Election. You can vote every single day between now and March 25th


Now go out there and vote.

Remember, this is a Chicago Style Stuffed Election. You can vote every single day between now and March 25th.