Hail Alanis

Canadian songstress Alanis Morrisette raised her right hand, pledged allegiance to the United States Constitution, and became one of this country's newest immigrants. Alanis is best known for her 1995 album, Little Jagged Pill, a compilation of songs rife with 20 year old femin-angst.
The album contained the hit song Ironic. This song became quite famous in literary circles because nothing in the song actually fit the dictionary definition of "Irony." Most of the song, could be more aptly labeled as "poetic justice" with statements like " a black fly in your chardonnay". In fact in 2002, the American Heritage Collegiate Dictionary added the word "Irony" to their list of 100 Words Every High School Graduate Should Know, in an attempt to protect the integrity of the word. They were aware that Morisette's misuse had influenced children now entering college. In her defense, Alanis later said that she knew that none of the examples were truly ironic, and that was the irony of the song.
During the last election there were a lot of threats made throughout the entertainment industry that celebrities would move to Canada if George Bush was elected. It is strange that these threats were made. In truth, the direction most emigrating celebrities take, is into America from Canada. Comics Jim Carrey and Mike Myers, band leader Paul Shaffer, Super bimbo Pamela Anderson, former Starship Commander William Shatner, and news reader Peter Jennings are all living here now. Meanwhile, Canada-phile Michael Moore still lives in the United States, despite his longing for Canadian style health care and gun control (as well as bacon and doughnuts). The most probable reason for these migration patterns, is the much higher rate of taxation in Canada on people with sizable incomes. What many of them don't understand, is that abhorrence for taxation, is only one facet of the independent and individualist nature that makes America so desirable. It is impossible to shape America into something a little more Canadian, without destroying what makes it unique and preferable. After the election, not a single Democrat American Celebrity defected to Canada. And one Canadian actually came into the country.
Alanis campaigned heavily for the Democrats as part of MTVs "Rock the Vote" tour. There were never any threats of what Alanis might do were Bush elected, however moving out of Canada was never considered by any of her fans. At the Juno Awards for Canadian Music in Edmonton, April 4, 2004, Alanis appeared in a fake nude body suit, and said, "As you may or may not be aware, recently in the United States, I ran into a little problem with regards to a lyric in one my songs, It was requested that I change a word in the first verse. Well, I am overjoyed to be back in my homeland, the true north... strong and censorfree."
I hope Alanis has finally figured out what "Irony" really is, because it would be a shame for one so delicious to be lost on her.